Questions Part 2

I am forfeiting the integrity of the blog by creating a part two of Alex Kreger's "Questions" but only because I thought the idea was brilliant and mentally stimulating.

What are we? At some point everyone needs to take a look in the mirror and ask themselves that simple question. Take the viewpoint of an alien or a completely objective observer that has never laid eyes on a human before. It's weird! Our physical stature is extremely unique compared to the rest of the animal kingdom. We are all extremely awkward beings without a stable center of gravity compared to most animals who rest on four legs, and even monkeys hunch over to have a steadier balance than our rigid upright stance.

The almighty USA? I am in no way attempting to be an anti-patriotic person and upset Thomas because I love our great country. However that's just the point. think about the extreme amounts of propaganda that has occurred in the history of the world. Hitler had almost every single German convinced that his extermination of the Jews was the right thing to do. China lived under the impression that they were the superpower of the world under Mao, Finally, the USSR convinced its citizens that the USA was a monster set out for world domination. What if we lived under these same conditions and the quality of life in the US isn't as good as we think? Immigration numbers could be skewed and not as many people as we think are trying to enter the US. The average income, life expectancy, and for all we know electoral college could be phony or rigged. Just something to think about, but I'll end this section appropriately with "USA USA USA!!!"

How do you not have a weighted 4.0? Once again this is in no way an attempt to insult anyone's intelligence, if anything, it is an angry declaration to use one's intelligence. Many of my friends have great brains but do not accomplish their goals academically because of their complete lack of time management. At Chagrin Falls High School, if a student takes the right courses, not trying anything too advanced for he/she, they should receive a 4.0 at the end of each quarter. I contend the sole necessary requirements to obtain that lofty GPA in Chagrin's inflated grading system are: focus in class for six periods of the day (lunch and study hall not included) which is less than five hours in a twenty-four hour day, proper use of the 50-minute provided study hall, and a simple 60 minutes dedicated to homework each night (even if there is no specific homework, study ahead for the next test). This amounts to less than seven hours of an ENTIRE DAY, which gives the person 17 hours of free time to play sports, relax, and hang out with friends. YOU SHOULD GET A 4.0 at Chagrin, anything else is insulting to the talented brain most everyone was given.

Finally, what is a "word?" Why can't sfdghui mean something? Who decided that a certain group of letters where despicable and proclaimed them swear words? How are we able to translate with the Chinese, when the two languages are so utterly different? Who says one piece of writing is better than another and gives them awards? What if I just developed my own nonsensical style of writing and proclaimed it fantastic (virtually what the Beat generation accomplished)? Why am I not able to scribble on a large sheet of canvas and stick it in an art museum like Van Gogh?

I understand this seems like a random assortment of questions but I needed to release them from my mind.

Good Stuff

The blog project was the greatest thing that ever happened to me in an English class. I was able to simply "freestyle" about random topics that I found humorous or intriguing without overbearing concerns for essay structure or the analyzation of quotes. The blogs allowed me to talk about human tendencies that I witnessed and relevant events that occur everyday in our school instead of writing constantly about books that were published hundreds of years ago (i.e. "Othello"). I have never felt so much freedom in an English project like the "Blogs." I also thoroughly enjoyed watching peoples blog's transform from strict interpretations of the readings from the previous nights into comical prose about whatever they felt like blogging about. The humor that emerged from the daily segment of "Bobbie's Blog Banter" remains unmatched in any other class, and honestly, I don't even care what I get on the semester exam, it will not change my opinion of the project. Bottom line is: I had a great time blogging.

Win

After our embarrassing runner-up finish in last quarter's extra credit contest the Dream Team had some soul searching to do. Now, I won't sit in this chair and type on this blog with complete disregard for the truth: I may contribute to one out of the thirty or so questions that are on this test but frankly it's embarrassing to lose when you have Lebron, Wade, and Bosh (Donley, Kreger, and Schiferl) on your team. For crying out loud, the cumulation of ACT scores from that group figures to 105, and a college wouldn't see a single transcript "B" from the MV3. The bottom line is that anything but first is unacceptable, so I decided that this three-headed, test slaying monster needs to be taken by the leash and reeled in to where their talents are effective and compliment one another. That's why on Friday, every once in a while, I would throw out an answer that I completely guessed on and fight for it with extreme passion. This usually lead to an intense argument from the smartest kids in our school against myself, but my job is complete. The MV3 came together as a whole, and when that occurs, everyone else is playing for second. In a similar situation, the 2004 Men's Olympic US Basketball Team obviously was the most talented in the world, however; their players did not mesh which lead to a pathetic bronze medal. In 2008, the "Redeem Team" put the United States back at the pinnacle of the basketball world, steamrolling everyone in their paths. I want to make it clear to everyone this quarter, these are our intentions. DO NOT try to stand in our way. It will get ugly. The Dream Team is back.

Delirium

For years I have always thought about the fact that I could live in a world of actors, actually this premonition occurred immediately following my first viewing of the "Truman Show." This movie, which stars Jim Carey, is about a man who grows up in a world full of actors and his life is televised without him having any knowledge of what is happening around him. Eventually, Truman figures out that his life is a show and to escape this fictional world all he must do is sail to the end of the dome (that covers his town) where a door leads to the outside world. The movie truly makes one think about their life in a different way, and similarly to "Shutter Island" it creates a sense of unsureness in one's mind. I mean truly, what if you lived in a world full of actors? Honestly, I could be writing this blog right now about being in a world full of actors and actually be in a world full of actors. How could one truly ever tell? Or another thought of mine is about mental stability and the question I often pose to myself: how am I ever sure if this is reality? I look at people who have extreme distortions on what is actually occurring around them, for example a person born with a mental disability, and I think what if I have that disability and just remain unaware that others differ from myself? Which leads into another question what if everything we experience is part of a dream and we just haven't woken up yet? Finally, what even is the purpose of living in reality? These mind-blowing questions are answered by people in different ways that contain elements of science, logic, and faith. My mind is already delirious from working long hours on the data sheet, which at this point I'm not even sure is a real assignment, so I conclude with an apology for this confusing post; however, it was necessary for me to release all of these questions from my brain to prevent an explosion.

Bobi Know

           As I scroll through my iTunes Recently Played list and see some of the classic MCs of all-time, which on my short-list include Eminem, Biggie, Tupac, and 50 Cent, I cannot help but sit in pure amazement due to the vocabulary of these artists. Now, I know Eminem failed the ninth grade three times, Biggie dropped out at the tender age of seventeen, and 50 barely made it through junior high; however, these men truly developed an unbelievable aptitude for words. The more I thought about these wordsmiths, the more I paralleled their brains to our very own Ms. Serensky. It would indeed be revolutionary, but I can see the headlines now: "AP English Teacher Leaves Job to Start Career In The Hip-Hop Industry."
           It is the perfect storm because Ms. Serensky already has mastered everything about being a successful MC. Any avid rap fan knows that a good song is made up of extended metaphors, similes, extreme hyperbolic phrases, and multiple allusions. Check. How to conduct thorough research on major events or occasions in pop culture to incorporate into songs. Check. The ability to create a structured rhyming scheme with diction that makes sense (I make a personal guarantee to the public that she never uses the phrase "Fo Shizzle"). Check. "Call-outs" or direct characterizations of people who foil her, in other words, "haters." Check. Assuredly, she understands the importance of writing songs with a purpose to control the attention of a young and gangster audience. Finally, after multiple weeks of hearing her "Blog Banter" theme song, I am confident that she will be able to develop beats suitable for her incredible lyrical abilities. Which brings us to the final question... what is her stage name? At first, I thought about "The Enforcer" or "The Analytical Cynical Pinnacle" but with the help from my music/business associates Kregs Master Fresh and Schif Daddy, we have decided on "Bobi Know." So if the next song that bursts into the national spotlight includes references to Bengali families or giant Native Americans... we all will know.

Top 10 of '10

Most of my break has consisted of lounging around the house and watching pointless television, neither of which I am ashamed or tired of doing. In fact, the countless "Sportscenter" re-runs that air constantly throughout the day with the Top Memorable Moments or Blunders or Athletes of 2010, provided me with an intriguing thought. What were the Top 10 moments of AP English 2010?

10. Soapstone for Angela's Ashes
-Who doesn't like to wrap up a classic novel by Irish writer Frank McCourt with a concluding soapstone?Plus the book itself had to be one of the best moments of 2010, I mean not a single person in the class had dry-eyes when McCourt left his family to try his luck in America (slight exaggeration).

9. The introduction of the "Argument Essay"
-After months of analysis and intense restriction on what could appear in an essay, we were finally able to use the personal pronoun "I" and let our emotions fly.

8. Shakespeare haunts us with his magnificent "Othello"
-I mean when a ten-page section take over an hour to read I deem it worthy to make the Top 10. I still have nightmares where I forget the quote "You told a lie, an odious damned lie," leaving me with absolutely nothing to write on my book-less essay (which brings me to number 7).

7. Book-less essays
-An event like no other. Never do I see hysteria on the school grounds like I do before a book-less essay (only rivaled by mornings before Calc homework quizzes). Without a doubt, a ground-breaking event in the world of AP English in 2010.

6. The introduction of the "Synthesis Essay"
-My worst fear came true, a Brownlow DBQ mixed with a Serensky Analysis Essay. Enough said.

5. The Decision
-No, not the infamous decision by Lebron James this summer: The decision by our very own Thomas Donley. The question posed, "Will you grow your hair until the end of the year for less than 5,000 dollars?" The answer, "No." A truly mind-blowing decision to say the least.

4. Bobbie's Blog Banter/ The Ever-Changing Theme Song
-The popularity of the show is undeniably great, so much so, that I will push for a school-wide showing in the near future. Furthermore, the theme song exemplifies the flexibility and forward thinking of the show, and changes constantly from cuckoo noises to guitar solos to random humming ensembles.

3. Chief Bromden
-This silent giant kept us relaxed throughout the stresses of college applications and relieved us from a serious "Othello" hangover. At times throughout the last couple months I'm sure some of us thought we belonged in an insane asylum just like the Chief.

2. AP EXAMS
-Duh duh duh duuuuuh (Dramatized), as much as we all would like to forget Joseph Sitzwohl beating or tying our AP Exam scores we cannot. That is why it ranks at number two on my Top 10 list.

1. DEEEEEEAAAR Journal
-From its roots as playful jests toward the Thomas Donley, to its transformation into a staple of our class, I will never forget the "Dear Journal" segments of Ms. Serensky's ongoing comedy routine. Especially the fact that Thomas' diary undertakes the accent of an old british hag.

A great year in AP English and hopefully an even better one to follow. Happy New Years!