Multiple Choice

With the infamous multiple choice game tomorrow I would like to, for once, put all the trash talk aside and wish everyone well-deserved luck. Primarily, for the simple reason that I have never misunderstood a poem more than I did today. All I grasped the entire period was it had something to do with coins, the earth, and tears. As a collective unit, not separate teams, I believe we all accomplished something fantastic just through our ability to decipher some meaning from that cryptic piece of writing. For goodness sakes, most high school students are still developing their five paragraph essay skills while we sit at our desks and attempt to determine whether a poem (which I could barely comprehend) symbolizes the anxiety of lovers, the world's demise, or a broken up couple. All seem like perfectly legitimate answers to me! In all honesty, I am proud and thankful to be surrounded in a single classroom by so many intelligent people who, each and everyday force me to become smarter. The second reason I would like to extend my hand to everyone in the other groups is because we all need the EXTRA CREDIT. I don't think there has ever been a class in the history of Chagrin Falls where more people are sitting on a B+ to end the third quarter. It's demoralizing to think, one can work so hard but fall slightly short of that almighty A. I know there are a handful of people in our very class who hold a perfect transcript, without a single A, and I sincerely hope that they can achieve a feat which I am unable to even fathom. Good luck tomorrow everyone, and rack up that EC!!!

Five Steps to a...7-

Hours of hand cramps and brain farts. Weeks of sweat and tears. Months of pain and anguish. Years of acceptance and comedy. I HAVE FINALLY DONE IT!!! Change the title of my blog and eliminate all the sarcasm that goes with it! Today, at 10:22:17 A.M. I received my first ever AP rubric score that entered into the sound barrier, or more commonly known as a score that begins with the number 7. Granted, it was a 7- but who cares! I'm loving it more than a quarter pounder with fries from Mickie Ds! Most of you English hotshots will scoff at my achievement– Kreger will shove his 199/200 in my face (a score which I cannot even fathom), Donley will start listing his streak of 8s, and I can only imagine the score that my desk bud, Ms. O'hara, received. But let me tell you something, there is nothing better than getting a paper back with a 7- on it, especially after you set the all-time record streak for consecutive 5 pluses (hence the title of my blog). So I will end this blog early, and reward myself with a night filled of basking in my newfound glory in the eyes of Ms. Serensky (I hope).

Social Norms

With Winter Formal right around the corner, the students of Chagrin Falls have begun to shop for fresh ties and stylish dresses, and while most people change their attires from dance to dance... one thing stays the same. The freaking corsages and boutineers! The red squiggly line just appeared on my screen, under boutineers, but I'm not even going to bother finding the correct spelling– just to emphasize their ridiculousness. EVERY SINGLE DANCE we spend 10 to 25 dollars on these silly little flowers that no one likes to wear. Okay, I concede that freshman year the whole routine of figuring out how to pin a flower onto a sports coat was cute, but around seven dances later it's just getting old. I sincerely feel bad for the busboy who must clean up a table littered with flowery accessories, after a Formal group leaves their restaurant. They itch! They scratch! They annoy! They are idiotic social norms. Thank goodness that finally this year, our group found some sense and decided to rid ourselves of this horrid tradition. It will assuredly lead to a more comfortable, less expensive, and overall better last Winter Formal ever.

Paper

Stop the complaining, papers are chill

The Wonders of Winter

I can sense it. I can feel it. I can even almost taste it. Spring is in the air! I don't know if it's my southern roots, or just a pure hatred for winter, but when I walk outside after school and witness rays of sun beating down on my windshield instead of a freezing rain downpour... I am thoroughly ecstatic. Winter is the worst season by far: it's like a constant cold and tired depression that never leaves. I know many of the Northerners in our class would debate me until the end of time about the wonders of winter; however, here is a list of reasons to despise the awful season.

1. It gets dark faster than Chase's beard.

2. The clock can double as a thermometer.

3. After going to a Cavs game, the only team congruity is their season win total and the wind chill.

4. Hibernation is what I dream about.

5. Every single time someone walks inside with shoes on, that dreaded screech rings throughout the halls.

6. Kids start to where shorts to school the minute the temperature hits 30 (I swear I saw at least four kids with shorts on in the halls today).

7. The NFL season is over.

8. I would rather mow the entire lawn, rake every leaf in the yard, and spread mulch in my mom's large garden than shovel Mrs. Schiferl out of the snowbank along my driveway (true story).

9. Sledding is overrated. Let's be honest, it's fun for 30 minutes then your toes just start to hurt.

10. Everyone looks better and healthier with some color (our english class resembles a stack of printer paper).

I guess Anne Bradstreet leaves us with an appropriate closing quote: "If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant" which I agree with completely. Although, I could deal with a shorter period of misery and still reap the joys of  new and warmer season.

Hooray for the Spring!

TV Guide

With college applications completed, Christmas thank you notes out the door, and the simple fact that the second semester of our senior year has begun, I would like to act like your personal TV guide and recommend a few upcoming shows to watch in the upcoming weeks.

The Office: Hands down the funniest show I have watched on television. Quotable lines galore and a cast of characters who will not only make you cry out of laughter but cry out of love at the end of the upcoming season. Will Ferrell will also make a celebrity appearance on the last four shows of the season, which is sure to be a treat.

Outsourced: A little taste of Indian culture mixed with a large serving of American comedy. This show depicts a telemarketing company set in the place where Ashima and Ashoke call their home (well at least for most of the book). Didn't get enough Bengali culture in The Namesake? Tune in to this laugh out loud comedy Thursday nights at 10:30, or just set the DVR.

Mad Men: An extremely witty and well-written series about an advertising agency in the 1960s. You thought Clive and Vernon seemed wrapped around the aspect of money, wait until Don Draper, the agency's founder, appears before your eyes. Although slightly sophisticated... pshh we are AP English students right?

Super Bowl XLV: Finish the poetry papers early people!! This weekend, the largest watched sports event in America airs, and two mid-western, heartland of America, teams will battle for the crown of "World Champions" (which seems odd to me because not many other countries field a professional football team). The offensively gifted Green Bay Packers and the "steel curtain" defense of the Pittsburg Steelers will surely provide excellent entertainment, so do those papers!

March Madness: It's right around the corner! By far my favorite time of the year to watch sports, 65 hopeful basketball teams will be pitted against one another for the right to proclaim themselves "National Champions" (which seems much more appropriate to me). Brackets, brackets, and more brackets! Nothing would make my year more than to view a bracket filled out by Ms. Serensky and hear the reasoning behind each pick.

So with the extra free time, either read a book or watch one of these shows.

Questions Part 2

I am forfeiting the integrity of the blog by creating a part two of Alex Kreger's "Questions" but only because I thought the idea was brilliant and mentally stimulating.

What are we? At some point everyone needs to take a look in the mirror and ask themselves that simple question. Take the viewpoint of an alien or a completely objective observer that has never laid eyes on a human before. It's weird! Our physical stature is extremely unique compared to the rest of the animal kingdom. We are all extremely awkward beings without a stable center of gravity compared to most animals who rest on four legs, and even monkeys hunch over to have a steadier balance than our rigid upright stance.

The almighty USA? I am in no way attempting to be an anti-patriotic person and upset Thomas because I love our great country. However that's just the point. think about the extreme amounts of propaganda that has occurred in the history of the world. Hitler had almost every single German convinced that his extermination of the Jews was the right thing to do. China lived under the impression that they were the superpower of the world under Mao, Finally, the USSR convinced its citizens that the USA was a monster set out for world domination. What if we lived under these same conditions and the quality of life in the US isn't as good as we think? Immigration numbers could be skewed and not as many people as we think are trying to enter the US. The average income, life expectancy, and for all we know electoral college could be phony or rigged. Just something to think about, but I'll end this section appropriately with "USA USA USA!!!"

How do you not have a weighted 4.0? Once again this is in no way an attempt to insult anyone's intelligence, if anything, it is an angry declaration to use one's intelligence. Many of my friends have great brains but do not accomplish their goals academically because of their complete lack of time management. At Chagrin Falls High School, if a student takes the right courses, not trying anything too advanced for he/she, they should receive a 4.0 at the end of each quarter. I contend the sole necessary requirements to obtain that lofty GPA in Chagrin's inflated grading system are: focus in class for six periods of the day (lunch and study hall not included) which is less than five hours in a twenty-four hour day, proper use of the 50-minute provided study hall, and a simple 60 minutes dedicated to homework each night (even if there is no specific homework, study ahead for the next test). This amounts to less than seven hours of an ENTIRE DAY, which gives the person 17 hours of free time to play sports, relax, and hang out with friends. YOU SHOULD GET A 4.0 at Chagrin, anything else is insulting to the talented brain most everyone was given.

Finally, what is a "word?" Why can't sfdghui mean something? Who decided that a certain group of letters where despicable and proclaimed them swear words? How are we able to translate with the Chinese, when the two languages are so utterly different? Who says one piece of writing is better than another and gives them awards? What if I just developed my own nonsensical style of writing and proclaimed it fantastic (virtually what the Beat generation accomplished)? Why am I not able to scribble on a large sheet of canvas and stick it in an art museum like Van Gogh?

I understand this seems like a random assortment of questions but I needed to release them from my mind.